“Already things are changing; it’s starting with small shit but oh it’s starting, the change, the irrevocable, impossible change.” Suzanne Finnamore
So, I got this message in my inbox to ask and I think it’s a big one. (Name has been changed).
“I got married in 2007 and things were great.
2009 December, my husband lost his job. By April, 2010, there was a vacancy in my place of work and even though I knew it wouldn’t work, I asked my boss if he could hire my husband. He asked why and I opened up to him- my husband was acting irrational, getting abusive and if I voiced a contrary opinion, he would shout me down and claim I was saying it because I was the sole provider. I said irrational because he was asking me to quit my job so that I will learn humility. When I asked how we will survive, he said his family will sustain us until he finds something. I told him it wasn’t a good plan and he gave me a 1 month ultimatum to quit or he will throw me out. Our sex life was dead at this point. I had carried the burden for so long that I had summoned the courage to meet my boss on the 13th of April which was he day before the deadline. My boss listened while I cried and poured my heart out. He said I should invite my husband to see him the next day.
My husband refused. He said I was a foolish woman and had gone to broadcast his joblessness to my lover-boss.
Surprisingly, on my way home, my boss’s secretary blocked me and said my boss is asking for me. Long story short, he carried me home in his car and we met my husband in his boxers watching African magic. They talked and while my boss didn’t give my husband the job, he did end up footing part of his bill for his Masters in the UK. It was a miracle.
Yes, call it loneliness, call it lack of trust (who knew who kept him warm there), call it a whack sense of indebtedness or a combination of all three factors but my resolve dissolved as my boss doggedly pursed me. We started having an affair.
My husband and I talked regularly alright but it was always as if something was missing. The first time he came around, we slept in separate rooms- for a couple not yet 10 years old.
3 months before my husband was to return finally, I decided that I was going to move out and go on with my life. But, I met with the priest who wed us and I told him everything. I made him promise not to tell my husband.
I cut off the affair from my boss and quit my job. I never have told my husband about the affair but believe me, I paid my price in my own way. I became the most submissive, the most loving, the most patient and my husband sings my praises everywhere.
2015 and 3 kids later, I began to suspect that something was fishy. His phones became password protected, he would say he’s so-so place and forget he said there when I would wonder how he claimed to be at another place.
I knew. And I have broken into his phone. I have enough evidence to confront him but I don’t know how this will play out. I sincerely and deeply love this man. I am dying inside. Please don’t judge me…this is hard enough for me- Abigail.
“Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.” Scott Dikkers
You have heard Abigail, what do you think? Please share in the comments section